i did something!

feeling better, i am

so... today was interesting. i went to church, talked to the cute guy i serve with (who my mother "approves" of... this isn't encouraging) and he asked for my number which was a bit "squee". but thing is i like someone else... or something like that. i told that guy who hasn't really reacted in any way so might just say yes if cute guy ever asks me to a movie or something. is a guy says "so i'll call you" in a church... what does that mean? /sigh.
so yes. the internet is horrible. you can tell someone something you'd never say to their face and you wonder how they had taken it. what bothers me is that maybe he just looked at the text and gone "meh, as if" or something like, "uh... won't this be awkward later?". although... i was hoping he won't talk to me afterwards. especially because i don't know how he reacted. so... was i supposed to bring it up? was i supposed to say NOTHING?? or was i meant to go "so how do you feel?". i am a bit obsessive, you might have noticed, as i can't handle people. if i don't know how they react... how am i to respond? if any of this makes sense... i'm still dealing with problem A. A being dad. i remember him not letting me answer the phone because a boy rang me once to check the homework we had been given. i remember when i first ever went out with someone (which i haven't done again because it was traumatising) i cried that night because i wanted my dad to be there to tell me off or to meet him or to just... be. my mother's reaction was "eeeeeeeek! you aren't gay~!" or something like that.
so my brother got a fish. he's never had a pet of his own before. the fish really doesnt like me. it tried to jump out of the bowl when i talked to it. he also called it "fishsticks". if you've seen the south park episode where kanye west doesnt get the "fishsticks=fishdicks" joke. say it everyone! say fishdicks and then say fishsticks really quickly. they sound the say right??
Image upload!! :D So... kbai!!

do like putting them in your mouth?