On the Kooks, emoness and high school

So ive been listening to the kooks lately. they seem very happyish. I also felt proud of myself while reading a terry pratchett book when he mentions Buddy Holly. I dont like Buddy Holly as a musician but i am aware of him and laughted quietly to myself in bed, when i was reading it. lying down is the best way to read a book. Is comfy and you can go to sleep when your eyes get tired. which is usually the point.

We, in reference to all the year 11 science students of my school, have group four. that is when we all break into groups and make experiments under a general theme. i was somewhat proud of my group. we planned together. and the one with emotions all over the place seemed to work out well at the end of it all. So far, since we have a day left for everything.

And my mother abandons me for another country tomorrow. I'll miss her. i has a stressful week because of the prize giving thing that my school does as well as having to write an essay in one night (that was very good actually. i was very very proud of myself.) and the group four just made everything even more stressful. My mother and i had a sit down and she told me basically that there is life out of high school. She also said how she was proud of me for handling school, work and home. I would go to school at about 7 am and the go to a meeting on a monday at bout 4 till 5 then go home and make dinner for the family. i dont mind as cooking is my own form of winding down before homework but the additional stuff taht was hard to do was manage to feed the dog afterwards as well as do the dishes while doing essays and projects in between. i like having responsibility though. it makes me feel important sometimes.

The reason i felt like talking to my mother was because i was feeling down last night. i went with her to a very unorgainsed journalism course graduation where nothing went right. i was sitting there for the first half hour or so feeling incredibly sorry for myself because i felt like i had let down my group at group four, let down my family because the TV ad i was supposed to do wasnt going to work in a way that i would be able to be part of after the resheduling, and felt like a total failure for not having an friends that would help me get my mind off all of teh above. i wanted a billion cookies, a smoke or even to get pissed drunk on rum and coke liek the old, messed up days. Im sure things wil brighten up eventually.

This is a seems to be a long post. i might need to add a picturegraph just to make up for any misspellings. maybe. so i give y'all an animal with a gun. because i can.