dont be sad, be busy

sometimes i write whole blog posts that i leave without publishing, come back to it and go "holyshit son, thats fucken emo in the pants" and so on.

thats the thing about occasionally having amazing ups, you get the tremendous lows where your hands dont work quite right, you dont want to go outside, and all you want to do is lie there or sleep. heartbreak or nostalgia, worry and loneliness. various problems that cant be easily outweighed by looking around at all you have and how well off you are compared to those who have nothing or few.

it takes time to get out of it, a friend maybe but that often isnt the case when you dont want to go anywhere...

and apart from all that, we delve into other things. so i try. i made some homemade icecream, started to brew some ginger beer, taught myself horchata, fed some puppies, cleaned something, looked stuff up and teh list of things to do lengthens because inbetween all the plans because you have time to play some videogames or to lie down and feel all the bad things all over again.

videogames are addictive because, hell, youre often all powerful, you defeat things and you can be someone else, often teh hero. thats why i play rpgs i guess. and screw mmos, imma be the ONLY hero.

so to anyone who might feel down, alone, sad and everything inbetween, just take the time to feel it and fidn the way to fix yourself. occupy your time so its that you dont have the time to pine and wonder and toss and turn and ask whywhywhy.

maybe itll work. i dont wuite know what works for me, but i wont get over anything unless i try right?

i aim to be the exception, exceptionally.