ive been busy

so. there has been a lot of doing stuff, with work and trying to keep up with everything else. school is rushing forward and by school i mean uni... and im so tired. im going to have another cup of tea.

i also got a new phone. its fancy. i barely know how to use it. but its fancy. so yes.

cheery bye :)

Im tired...

Well, I want to blog. Im watching Paper Heart.. yes, I dont know if i can stand michael cera or the yi chick, but the little bits wit the dolls and stuff is uber cute

aw silly comics.. its not mine, clearly, but i loved it when i saw it. im really... yes. im busy with stuff, and the only drawings that im doing is work .. its odd. Well, not work yet, but i hope it will be.

ponyo! look at the pretty picture :) makes me miss wholemeal. mostly cuz i made him watch the movie. of course he thought it was adorable and stuff, and i think his favourite part was the head-hugging one. heheh.. that movie was too cute.

you want to know whats wrong with the above picture? its a skinny body. its annoying. its like suuuuuuuure, youre totes fat fuckwit(!). annoying. yes.
and to end, a kwoot puppy. max is home more. im happy. so yes. cheery bye. :)

across the universe

so i was watching it, well, am watching the end again because my mam dearest missed the end. i always feel so sad when (SPOILERS!) the little boy dies and when strawberry fields forever is playing. I get sad. Yes. So... had a long day today. (then again, the movie has been out for ages, so spoiler period is over)..

Worked at the office all morning, did errand things, came home and felt tired. then ma got back and my cursing the uni that wholemeal goes to because hes got so much on his plate. occasionally i felt terrible for not being there to support him properly.. but I try my best here and i know that our relationship is much better than some of those who have the luxury of being the same country, the same city, the same neighborhood, street or whatever.

Will have a long busy week. It sucks looking at my week planner and going "oh my god. i have to meet my friend to discuss work? Why is this happening so early?" but i cant help it. i got so angry today at all the people in suva who dont care about others, who dont care about the state of our country and those who dont want to know about the struggles of the voiceless, the oppressed, the tired. We build stereotypes in our head. we tell ourselves that "women dont have interest in media". Thats all nonsense. What women talked herself down? We shouldnt pity her, but try to raise her up. She was taught to be this way by some twisted society. We should try to make the media more accessible for her, in a format that she would understand because of the limitations forced on her by her situation. we shouldnt give up, put her in a box and forget about her. its because of this terrible box putting that our poor country is the way it is. It seems that we're too lazy to think otherwise, do the honorable thing, to do the right thing.

Who am i to talk? Just some stupid teenager, waiting for revolt, an uprising. We sit and complain about the state that we're in, but do nothing. We dont think of the solution. We ponder the problem and never try to do anything to solve it ourselves. what example are we setting?

tra-freaken-la-la-la

hello there.

im lazy :)

here are the rest of the doodles i did.. a few days back.

i didnt put them up straight away because im silly. have been very busy lately. so yes. i also painted my nails recently. why is this news?

well. i decided that i can be hardcore and girly. so today, i put on a skirt, my favourite blue teeshirt from the hard rock cafe in nadi, my xmas sandals, an ankle which makes jingly sounds and enjoyed the fact that my toenails were black and white and my fingernails pink and purple. i think wholemeal would be proud. my ma too. growing up means sometimes pretending that youre just like your baby cousin; fearless and fun when it comes to what one wears. too bad i dont have a tiara :P peace out ^^

lazy :D

this movie was too cute..

So Im lazy to do work. Im tired. I dont know why. Ive drawn a whole page; penciled, inked.. but im scared to colour it. Im also bothered by the people in my house. I have TLOTR though. so Ill watch that.

blowing out candles is srs business

If you havent picked up, i dont think ive mentioned by wholemeal went back. it was his first day back at uni today. im jealous that he gets to be in a place covered in snow. but its ok. its cold here too.

dios de los muertos? is that how its spelt? so purty :)

Im tired. More wasabi peas for me. Im hungry still. I wish there were noodles at home. I wonder why all these bits feel like texts. I thnk ive forgotten how to write.

i am not a ninja. i couldnt handle the solitude.

Okay. Food time :) Cheery bye. Expect another update with a doodle :D

fuck that. whats he doing playing games when youre prolly lonely (is why texting ya?).

one of four!

so, ive been doing some random doodles, each being something not at all related to the next. There are four, but because im lazy, i shall but them in one by one. This is one of them :)

i know i had promised colour

and eventually you will get it. the thing is, i usually use my netbook to do things. I dont care how horrible it is or how slow, it's mine and that's why i use it. and i have been drawing and stuff... a lot. but this is on paper and the scanner is connected to my brother's slack pc. i will eventually have stuff up, but in the meantime.. i leave you with this smiley face

:)

you're welcome.

growing up pains

"freedom comes slowly at first" - Brian Keenan, An Evil Cradling. I probably mentioned earlier how grateful i am to my mother and the freedom she had allowed while wholemeal is here. I use "had" because... well.. the was a thing that happened (seriously not serious at all) and a communication fallout, as i do because im terrible at things. i recently got my IB results and got a 31 (out of 45), which i do feel proud of. sure, it's not uber impressive, but i managed that and did a whole bunch of other stuff too. It was also a seriously important two years for me. I stopped with the smoking, i had to question what i wanted, i dealt with a whole bunch of my own silly personal issues, and while keeping with the NGO work, I met wholemeal. The funny thing about my school results were that they improved in the forth and final semester, after i met him. but there are a few things that i had to realise and accept to actually "grow up".

I used to lie half in and half out of reality. I loved daydreaming, which would usually be the way i would develop the core stories for my silly comic story-lines. I would learn from TV and movies, and always figured that things would work out like they do in movies and books and things. This is not true. In movies, there may be young love and all sorts of things, but theres hardly any mention of family troubles or involvement or responsibilities or anything like that. I never understood what it would mean to manage a home until i moved in with my ma. sure, people would take about getting a job then moving in with their friends, but what about the family youre moving away from? would the new job be enough to cover rent, let alone be enough for bills and groceries and money for outings and stuff, not to mention put aside as savings. it makes my brain hurt.

sometimes i can be selfish and just want to leave home to get away from it all. to hide with wholemeal. the thing is, he wouldnt really let me. i wouldnt let me do something like that. my family is important to me. how they feel and what they do is something important to me. sure, i worry that i'd let them down. i worry that how i do in school will disappoint them. i worry that i wont do well enough with gen next or at the y. i worry that im not doing enough for them. i do know that how i feel about im doing ultimately should be the final thing (im a little lost for words), but.. how they feel contributes to it all. i do feel like im rambling on a little, and im probably not making too much sense right now.. but i think all i want to say.. not really admit, but something between the two, is that im at that stage in my life (haha dont i sound like a drama queen..) where all i want to do it throw myself off the cliff rather than scale down it carefully, with my harness securely fastened. "freedom comes slowly". one must never forget. there is a time for everything. patience is the skill and seizing the opportunity is something one should never regret.

doodling

Guess who's doodling!! Hi there internet.. sorry bout the total uber lack of updating. Im not dead, in a coma or have retired the blog (because there wouldve been a long weepy post followed by an apologetic one if the blog was retired), i've just been busy trying to cram things into my day :) so have a page of stuff i was doing yesterday. Im lazy to put everything and who knows, maybe ill do something in COLOUR today (le gasp!). catchyaontehflipside internets :)\

also.. i know it's late but... HAPPY NEW YEAR! :D