Not childish per se…

(as written at about 11.30 last night)

I’m a cry baby, I admit it. I cry a lot. Well, cry during videogames, at the ends mostly, because, of course, the RPGs I play are never uber happy. In fact, I finished kingdom hearts 2 on my own lately. I was overwhelmed. I had played from Sunday evening to Tuesday night. Then I was finished with 92% of the journal done. I beat the boss myself, apart from one part where I freaked out and handed it to my brother for about 15 seconds, and I was watching the final movie and I started to cry. My face was frozen up, tears fell from my eyes, and before I knew it I was sobbing hysterically. I tried to call a friend so I could shout “say something funny!” down the phone to stop me crying but the call got diverted. I was discouraged. And having a sore face, sore eyes and been in a discouraged mood is never good.
On the video game side, I like kingdom hearts 2. Is awesome. A mindless action RPG is just what I needed today. Button mashing kept my mind off things and the obsessive nature I possess gave me the strength to get all the treasures, the ultimate weapons and finish all the storylines. There is also a thing called drives, and I also got all the drive modes. It’s a bit sad, in retrospect, but I initially had the day planned to be boring and sad.
I couldn’t sleep because I think the coffin makers across the road were making coffins, as they do, and dogs were barking and my mind was wandering. I was on the verge of calling someone at 2 in the morning to tell them something. Then there was the email I wrote in my head, then the rehearsed speech. I had a plan and it was going to get carried out at 5am. But, the alarm went off, I went back to sleep and as of yet, nothing has happened. Then again it’s only Tuesday night, 11.30pm.
I think I might sleep. I needed to type this to be posted later so I could sleep. I had this thought as I read pride and prejudice, which we have to read for school, and it turned into something I’d rather not face. Oh, I also cried while reading p & p when mr. darcy confesses his love to elizabeth bennet. Why? Because it’s so sad… here is this man, basically pouring out his heart to eliza and all she can do is turn around and say, “nope, I like this other guy who said you were mean to him… so kthnxbai”. poor mr. darcy. Reason I never want to say words that I mean: I’m scared of being burned for it, just like mr. darcy was.
That’s enough for now.