so i lied when i used the word "realist"

im not. honestly, im a pessimist but i guess all that was my stupid childishness.. or was it? i used to tell myself that i wanted to get married as soon as a could, have a child to be there with me when i inevitably got divorced. divorce became a fact of life for me. i see it everywhere and it makes me sad. i never expected a relationship to be everything but perfect. i guessed that there will always be things to sort out and fights but... ive seen something else these past 7 months.

sure, its so different from other relationships, with distance and missing someone so much that you might explode whenever you see that your hand is all alone. not a single fight in this time, feeling so happy whenever he crosses my mind. never having to say anything to each other, but smiling so much by just seeing his face. having someone to talk to, about anything, all the time, even if its the silliest, smallest thing. i may be negative about a lot of things, but not this.. this realism is optimism without exaggeration. :)

ive been busy

so. there has been a lot of doing stuff, with work and trying to keep up with everything else. school is rushing forward and by school i mean uni... and im so tired. im going to have another cup of tea.

i also got a new phone. its fancy. i barely know how to use it. but its fancy. so yes.

cheery bye :)

Im tired...

Well, I want to blog. Im watching Paper Heart.. yes, I dont know if i can stand michael cera or the yi chick, but the little bits wit the dolls and stuff is uber cute

aw silly comics.. its not mine, clearly, but i loved it when i saw it. im really... yes. im busy with stuff, and the only drawings that im doing is work .. its odd. Well, not work yet, but i hope it will be.

ponyo! look at the pretty picture :) makes me miss wholemeal. mostly cuz i made him watch the movie. of course he thought it was adorable and stuff, and i think his favourite part was the head-hugging one. heheh.. that movie was too cute.

you want to know whats wrong with the above picture? its a skinny body. its annoying. its like suuuuuuuure, youre totes fat fuckwit(!). annoying. yes.
and to end, a kwoot puppy. max is home more. im happy. so yes. cheery bye. :)

across the universe

so i was watching it, well, am watching the end again because my mam dearest missed the end. i always feel so sad when (SPOILERS!) the little boy dies and when strawberry fields forever is playing. I get sad. Yes. So... had a long day today. (then again, the movie has been out for ages, so spoiler period is over)..

Worked at the office all morning, did errand things, came home and felt tired. then ma got back and my cursing the uni that wholemeal goes to because hes got so much on his plate. occasionally i felt terrible for not being there to support him properly.. but I try my best here and i know that our relationship is much better than some of those who have the luxury of being the same country, the same city, the same neighborhood, street or whatever.

Will have a long busy week. It sucks looking at my week planner and going "oh my god. i have to meet my friend to discuss work? Why is this happening so early?" but i cant help it. i got so angry today at all the people in suva who dont care about others, who dont care about the state of our country and those who dont want to know about the struggles of the voiceless, the oppressed, the tired. We build stereotypes in our head. we tell ourselves that "women dont have interest in media". Thats all nonsense. What women talked herself down? We shouldnt pity her, but try to raise her up. She was taught to be this way by some twisted society. We should try to make the media more accessible for her, in a format that she would understand because of the limitations forced on her by her situation. we shouldnt give up, put her in a box and forget about her. its because of this terrible box putting that our poor country is the way it is. It seems that we're too lazy to think otherwise, do the honorable thing, to do the right thing.

Who am i to talk? Just some stupid teenager, waiting for revolt, an uprising. We sit and complain about the state that we're in, but do nothing. We dont think of the solution. We ponder the problem and never try to do anything to solve it ourselves. what example are we setting?

tra-freaken-la-la-la

hello there.

im lazy :)

here are the rest of the doodles i did.. a few days back.

i didnt put them up straight away because im silly. have been very busy lately. so yes. i also painted my nails recently. why is this news?

well. i decided that i can be hardcore and girly. so today, i put on a skirt, my favourite blue teeshirt from the hard rock cafe in nadi, my xmas sandals, an ankle which makes jingly sounds and enjoyed the fact that my toenails were black and white and my fingernails pink and purple. i think wholemeal would be proud. my ma too. growing up means sometimes pretending that youre just like your baby cousin; fearless and fun when it comes to what one wears. too bad i dont have a tiara :P peace out ^^