so i lied when i used the word "realist"

im not. honestly, im a pessimist but i guess all that was my stupid childishness.. or was it? i used to tell myself that i wanted to get married as soon as a could, have a child to be there with me when i inevitably got divorced. divorce became a fact of life for me. i see it everywhere and it makes me sad. i never expected a relationship to be everything but perfect. i guessed that there will always be things to sort out and fights but... ive seen something else these past 7 months.

sure, its so different from other relationships, with distance and missing someone so much that you might explode whenever you see that your hand is all alone. not a single fight in this time, feeling so happy whenever he crosses my mind. never having to say anything to each other, but smiling so much by just seeing his face. having someone to talk to, about anything, all the time, even if its the silliest, smallest thing. i may be negative about a lot of things, but not this.. this realism is optimism without exaggeration. :)