People in my head. Like the nacho guy!

when i was younger i thought there were people in my head.

they had their own voices and stories and lives. it took me a few years to figure out that not everyone had these many people in their heads. you listen to one long enough, they become their own, and you let them out. thats where alex came from.

i spent a long time with this people in my head and i wandered about my garden at my dads house, in shorts, barefoot. id get muddy feet, a scratch, talk aloud when i knew no one was there. i mean, i still do, making new stories in my head, speeches, programmes i may never record. but its all there and needs to come out.

as i got older, some of them became me. coexisting, always there at the same time, sometimes switching at the drop of a single word. my funny, social self - the quiet, shy self - my angry, sweary self- the moods swings, my "gemini nature" according to my ma.

i make myself sad, happy, i entertain myself when theres no one else at home, adopt a heroic persona when im RPing a videogame (never evil or too firm).

why not? arent we different from animals because we can? our minds are our playgrounds. sure i havent invented anything, but thats where all my recipes come from thus my ginormous thighs.

after wholemeal and i split, one of me just ganged up on me all the time. especially when it was just me. im not good enough. i couldnt make him happy. im useless. im stupid. i suck. he should just find someone else.

but that wasnt it. we never really fought. we were happy. we were too far apart though. well, we are. and its, well, heartbreaking. this isnt a valentines special. and im more likely to want to burn everything frilly, red and cartoon heart shaped (because real looking hearts are super gross to look at really.) but i was always liek that. BURN THE SENTIMEN-LAME-ITY!

Because its fake. one day a year to have fancy dinner and say "i love you" with presents and roses? why roses? why thorny, ugly things? i like orchids. theyre prolly the only flower i can stand realy. cuz they look all funny.

wholemeal brought me one once. was sweet. but i did get a bit upset because he totally ditched his bros to come over and that was totes uncool. although i didnt really mind, just didnt want his friends to get pissy at me. but it was a pretty flower.

I want to be pocahontas. let john smith go. i have to be with my people. however i have to let wholemeal the amazing go so i can pass my uni stuff. well, the pining and the sad go.

anyway. watch Little Feet and Comics in a Jar for my amazing comicyness. LF updates three times a week while CiaJ updates everyday. Danke!