Dreams.

The other night I had this very odd dream. It was either uber symbolic, because I have now passed the “tender teen years” trial, successfully becoming 19, and I can now neither call myself a young woman or a lady. Anyway, the dream I had was in a familiar setting, I’d had dreams of these magic pools of water on these caves that appeared in my dreams in the garden at the house I lived in with my dad, stepmother and brothers. I was surrounded by all the “adult” people I knew and I remember saying out loud that I had had friends come over to the magic place when I was much younger and what a sad state the pools were in then.

They were sad, the levels were low, the magic seemed a day away from being dried up, the caves were crumbling, and the older friends in my dream didn’t want to be there. So they left, and it was me, feet in the water, being beckoned by these friends, promised a more mature, better kept location.

I guess I had been tripping again on nutmeg, which has happened only once before and the effect both times were very slight and only affected dreams. On the over hand, it could’ve been a kind of stand by my subconscious saying “grow up, you daft monkey”. The times have changed, I have outgrown the pool and the magic would no longer work for me. I need a different refuge, I need to grow up and I have people there to help me grow. I have friends (yes, I barely see them but I have them... somewhere), I have a significant other and I have my family.

But most importantly, I have me. I have me realizing the need to grow. I have me wanting to grow. That’s the hard part done, right?