Havent posted much... why you ask?

I dont know really. I guess Ive been doing other things, not so much writing, contemplating or anything.. i've been playing videogames mostly. Sleeping is my #3 thing on my mind, after wholemeal and videogames.

I finished the second dragon age game before my brother, as i did with fable 3. ive been home a lot more than he, to be fair. so i go back to finishing the first dragon age which i didnt get to do because he buggered about with the DLCs and borked it.

Im having fun in Dragon Age and trying my hardest not to use a walkthrough or FAQ. Despite frustration, I did the gauntlet puzzle thing with the bridge all on my own. I did use one, however, to figure out who gets what gift.

So apart from my lame videogamingness, i have been leaving my house to do errands, supermarketing and work so its not like ive shut myself off from reality.

Much.

Anyway, better get back to the console..

Ciao :D

Holy smokes, donuts!

DOAN EVEN THINK ABOUT EATING MY DONUT.
BIZZNATCH.

Im at work.... I need to burn some time (with FIRE!, but ntrlly) before I intro the next programme. My awesome friends, Milkshake and Wholemeal, dropped some food off, so I wont die of hunger, yay! Im feeling good, I dont want to go to my brother's party because it might be really odd, having my mam and my stepmum in the same room... ah well, I'm not going to let it bother me just yet. Im feeling good, as said before, because of this mostly:

NEKKID WITH NOTHING BUT SOME KICKASS SHOES.
BEST....IDEA....EVER.

Why would that make me feel good? Because it reminds me that there are many type of people out there and I shouldnt care if I dont classify as the "best type". As Milkshake told me, it's the cute ones that win in the end. I may not be skinny or be able to walk in heels, but I'm comfy in my flat sandals, being short and cute (with large thighs). I havent got much else to talk about, apart from the OHNOESSCHOOLISSTARTINGSOON, but yeah, I'll keep y'all posted. Also, big-ups to the anonymous commenter, who used the word "walketh".. IMMD :)

PUNS ARE THE BEST SOURCE OF THE LULZ.
YES. LULZ. DEAL WITH IT

KICKASS!

Well, im in a pretty good mood today, despite evil cramps. yes, i just told the internet about my cramps. ah well. i was apparently throwing murderous looks at people today, at the height of my pain. this is according to my brother, anyway. i wouldnt believe him. so above is after the movie. it was freaking awesome. i mean.. sure there are hollywood changes i dont think i agree with, like kickass getting the girl, but as a movie, it is very much kickass. i loved it. also, i was happy on sugar, so... yea. and then there was the supermarketing today, which was okay. apart from the fact that i couldnt find the cornflour i need, and the bleddy sugar was only in 4kg packs. who needs that much sugar? seriously. also, MHCC is retarded. yes, the building. the supermarket upsets me. is totally dictatored out. you can only go into the supermarket at one point now, and they blocked it off with railings. so.. when youre leaving, after getting your frozen goods, you have to go around the gawshdarn aisles to get to the checkout counters. is silly. i think whoever came up with that idea needs to be smacked upside the head. or be high fived in the face. check that image link for the lols :) myea. now i think i'll cook dinner and have a shower. because i can! :)

i was sick earlier this morning. i didnt feel like being sick in class, so didnt go to school. i played pokemon after napping most of the morning away. i dont feel uber bad about it. people get sick, and better to get rid of sick than to have the ill at school. also, but brother has stolen my daily comic idea, ofcourse his comics are better. now my support mechanism is failing. joy. but not really. that was sarcasm. im sad now. but thats not why i was sick, not sads that ive had were reasons for my sick. i was actually sick. is probably that monthly evil thing. ugh. stupid female parts. all retarded and stuff. i dont even want children.

100th!

it's my hundredth post. i'm currently on a regina spektor high. i like her music, because it's all over the place and i really like her voice. is very nice, with the highs. and stuff. so... to admit i've been very emotional lately. i've been riding the sad train, i had my fun on the emotional rollercoaster, i took a spin in the Jaguar that is my emotions. i realised that my ex was the one who gave me regina spektor. i also was sad because i have that wish to hang out with people who probably can't stand me. i've also really been missing my dad. christmas and new year are never the same. life has never really felt right. i have regrets, yes, and i wish that i didn't. then again, it isn't as if i've really said anything out loud, or at least had anyone tell me that it's okay to feel. i got asked after my dad on thursday, by a woman artist who was the first ms hibiscus. i had to tell her that he had passed away. she looked a bit shocked. i was able to say a few words about it without even having to stop to suppress sobs. of course i got home feeling sick, as i haven't been well lately, and that was it. i didn't hide in my room, i didn't write a long, sad poem. i didn't draw something that had no meaning, no sense. i just threw it aside. i ignored it. it can't be healthy can it? i don't really have anyone to consult about this. i can't talk to my mam. i love her too much to pile this stupid stuff on her since she has so much work otherwise. i can't talk to my brother can i? he never talks about dad. i don't really have anyone that i could call to talk about it. i can't talk to my best friend. she'd be too deep about the situation and i don't feel like that's what i want right now. i don't want to be deep. i want to forget just a bit longer, or at least i just want to be told that everything is alright. or at least that nothing can possibly be any worse than it was. i want to just figure this out this year. i want to figure out what i want. yes. all i know i want is that i want to figure out who. who i am, who i want to be and who i need to be in between all that. who? maybe myself. i think that would be nice for a change. but wait! who am i again? i was once told that the best thing about me was my positivity. i think that person had no idea who they were talking to. rather, i don't think that, i know that. so... that whole thing was a bit painful. the funny thing is that this blog is a lot more secret than diaries i've written. diaries are always found though. found, used and burned. but you can't burn the internet. you can never find something you want. you can't use something you think you've found. it's a nice change.

Well christmas is over.

merry christmas!

well, at least for this year. was interesting really. i got a few other things (a candle and diary) yesterday. i had thought that i had gotten them all, because we weren't all out this year really. we didn't have a tree tree. we got some twigs on our way back from the west, but it wasn't the same.
i recently re-read my blog. i noticed that i have many typos in my posts. and quite a few i'm ashamed of. some are really emo. and... that's no good for my image. ah well. i'm too lazy to fix it.
i also have written my new years resolution list. i'm probably not going to post it though. i'm shy.
i wrote a really long list. some are about family, some about relationships, some about friendships, and some about work and school. i will reveal however that one i really hope to achieve is the one i think i wrote last night.
i'm going to try figure out who i am. not just where i want to go, what i what to do in uni, or what kind of guy i like or anything. that deeper me. i plan first to cut my hair really short. i'm keeping the bob though. i plan on shortening the fringe and cutting the sides to about up to my cheekbones. that kind of length. and tonight i plan on dying my hair. i wanted to go purple, but my mam suggested burgundy. i don't know what that is. ah well.
i'm also addicted to erica moen's comics. i've shamefully read a lot of them, and.. well, i've read all of Dar. i love her style. it's... well, simple. and some of her earlier stuff is nice :) ah well.
i saw my 5 year old cousin read out a chapter of scripture from the bible yesterday. he stood on a stool thing with his mother who pointed to the words for him. i was proud to know him, to be related to this little boy. our family have always been early readers. my brother started reading at about the age of 2, me at 3, and this boy around 4. i like that there are still readers. in local schools, if you pick up a book in your spare time, you're a nerd or the equivalent in slang fijian or hindi. i don't know the slang, sadly. i was brought up in a home where all we spoke was english, all the friends i had spoke english, and i was terrified of the chinese kids in my class who spoke fijian better than i did. ah well. i like english. it's my forte. :)

so i leave y'all for the now. but i leave with a few words. one, i hope that any typos will be forgiven (along with incomplete sentences. i do that a lot in essays). two, i hope you don't think less of me for the fact i only know english (i cannot lay claim to french. i cant speak it. i can read it, write it, but not speak. i'm paranoid that i might mispronounce something). three, i hope you laugh at the picture at the bottom. :)

i only wish that i had reflexes like he did.

Feeling Down, But Might Improve!

So am feeling a bit down. I have very little energy left and cant be fucked to actually use my brain at the moment. Excuse my french. The cousins came around and buggered about and made my head hurt. We took them to the supermarket/mall-thing to get fireworks and food for Diwali. So on the way out saw two people i really didnt want to see.
One was my old classmate who made feel really bad about the guy i went out with for a while seeing as i think i promised to keep in touch and i kind of have an on off communication when im sad, which is a totally bitchy thing to do... but i am human so fuck that.
the second person was my brother who promised to help me out but didnt. I havent seen hime properly or spoken to him properly for the later half of this week. Im angry at him for being a douche. I want to break down a bit because the person i depend on to be a douche isnt being douche-y and thats not very good.
So i drew a bit. The top part is just a bit of venting about being broke, sad and tired. I guess i'll just hit my head against the wall now. Because i have nothing better to do. Th bottom part is me being sorry for myself in the salwar kameez i wore to school today. i was feeling emo so venting to flash seemed like a better idea than writing some stupid email to goodness knows whoever. Or texting people sadly. Ah well.
I also dont like being the practical one in the house. I seem to know whats in the kitchen and what to feed the dog. Okay. Enough bitching. I'm going to shower and power down. K bai.

So Sitting At Esquires

My mam is talking so a lady about finances for the NGO, or something like that. It's not that I'm not listening it is just that I'm not sure if I should know about it or if i shouldn't. I think that if the lady is here to talk to my mam, she should just talk to my mam, I am invisible. Like a ninja (nin-nin-nin!).

That's a Disgaea joke. Disgaea is an awesome game I played on PS2, ages ago. My brother played it mostly i remember leveling characters for him because he was lazy to level them sometimes. I was never responsible for the story levels. I was also terrified of screwing up. And ever since I was about 5 and deleted his friends pokemon game save by accident, he hasn't trusted me with a saved game.

So, played WoW last night. Up until about quarter to eleven. I needed sleep but wasnt able to move until i dinged (leveled up). So got from 25 to 27. Quested with a very nice BE priest, who apparently was an alliance hunter (level 80...) on another server. That worried by poor horde nerves because he knew what he was doing and i felt like an uber noob. He also had been reading the walk through for thousand needles, which was a bit crazy.

I had been thinking about rolling alliance. But probably wont.

And mathematics is insane at the moment. Learning differential calculus is fun, in the strangest way. Okie dokies. :)

Of my insane brother

So he got worse today
not as it today was the best
he was making retarded space ship landing jokes
and swearing
although
he defines elbow as a swear...