I say useless but i mean different

I wake up early when I plan on getting things done. The owl is not a morning person. thus, one reason why i call him an owl. Second reason is that he kinda looks like one. anyway.

todays little feet was about how useless gamer boyfriends are. to be honest, ive only really dated 2 people properly. nile was not a gamer. he did not like games. he liked going out and doing things, not necessarily in the morning. however, the owl is more used to sleeping during the day. why?

apparently, gamer bedtime is 5am most days. yes. 5. am. when i wake up to turn on the hot water so i can shower and not freeze to death at 5.30 or 6 (depending on how much stuff i didnt do the night before).

So. to be fair (as i tried with the last panel of the comic) this does not suck. in fact, it just is. sure, i end up doing stuff on my own during the am but thats fine. arvo hangouts and lunchtimes are good times to see each other too.

that and i get to eat. i am a fatty.

in fact, during todays lunch where i ate a cheeseburger and a peanut chocolate slab (did i say i was a fatty? i am. anyway the "slab" is a 50g slab so thats not soooo much), i was trying to figure out my next comic.

it was this chocolate. aka FUCK YEAH DELICIOUS

owl insists that it be about our friend arnold. i asked why and he just said "Arrrnooooolldddd". so. i guess thats that then.

my boyfriend is silly.

So I'm back! On Little Feet in particular, and will be picking back up in my other comic at some point, but need some.. uh... resources first. and by resources I mean paper. I need nicer paper. But I am poor. So that'll take a while.

Anyway, I want to blog now more specifically to reflect Little feet. Because i can.

Firstly, TSATS. Its a project at work that I'm mighty proud of. I and a friend of mine at work vlog about important things. I claim credit (only because it's due, i swear) as technical producer and script writer. Of course that means all bad criticism is all to me but I guess that's what I want. To learn from this. Anyway, it's awesome so take a look at it sometimes. LOOK AT IT.

Secondly and basically lastly, my owl (I saw owl because names have almost always been near eliminated here at Epic Musings, he's my boyfriend) is very... specific about footwear. not as much as I make it seem, but he once pointed out that I call flipflops shoes when I shouldnt. Apparently flipflops are not shoes. Which I can understand, sure, but they are a footcovering of some kind and very many people wear them everywhere here. I must point out that he's not from here, and by here I dont mean Suva, I mean Fiji.

Anyway, there will be more LF, just as sure as there will be more Epic Musings.
Woo, go me :D

My friend, manic-ness!

I recently scrapped about four posts I attempted to write because they delved into the depressing and highly personal.

To be honest, I’m still not 100% sure what I made this blog for. Sharing? Yes… But there’s only so much I can share, to be honest.

One thing I can be honest about it being scared to tell my family… in an out loud way that I’m scared of my manic depression (Steven Fry told me, via QI, that “manic” is better to say than “bipolar”).

I’m glad it’s not a terribly bad kind, and I’ve been keeping note of what triggers it and trying my hardest to come up with ways to bounce back whenever the lows hit. 

Some words of advice to those who have friends with this problem: saying "I've totally been there" does not help. Nor does "tough love". Yes, certain friends of mine. While I appreciate your attempts to help, you aren't very good at helping.

Positive people, distractions, a simple hug that doesn't say "I'm sorry" but "I'm here" helps. Don't be sad for me, I'm sad enough for myself and the four people I walked past on my out off campus when I started crying.

Context used to help but now it feel hollow. I used to say "it could be so much worse". But to respond, my lowness says "it's worse than it was. You used to be so happy". 

Now I think I should just tell myself that I'm here. I'm here to make my Ma happy, to do something that woulda made my Dad proud and something that I enjoy. 

I know I don't have the same kinda support I used to have from Wholemeal, but he's around when he can be. And I now have my useless butt friend Porcupine from time to time to help out and that keeps me occupied. 

That's the main thing. Keep busy. When Im just busy enough, I feel good doing stuff. So to anyone who knows what a low feels like, who hangs out with their manic self from time to time or someone who knows someone like me, keep in mind that what I know and what other people need are not the same thing. 

To each their own :) Stay frosty!

the thing about internet fame

im not famous. in real life or not the internet. im not even vaguely popular on the internet. ill watch notifications file past me on facebook all about everyone talking to everyone else.

i dont mind it, i mean, i guess its a lot less pressure. i dont have a fanbase to provide for, i dont have to get hate mail (cuz when people like you, there will always be more people who dont like you im guessing - i havent been in the position to test the theory).

I also have none of the internet appeals. i dont do music, my comics arent pretty pretty, my art in general is mediocre, i dont often look at youtube, and even though i can be funny and sociable from time to time, people are a mystery to me. y'all complicated weirdos whether you wanna admit it or not. I KNOW.

okies, imma go back to working on my bra comic. to celebrate it's creation im ditching the shirt and enjoying the company of my wonderfully affordable and comfy boobage handler.

stay tuned for more from my brainpad. :D

I've started it!

One of teh major things I wanted to do this year was get most of my gorram ideas out of my head and somewhere where others coudl see it.

That's why ASC and Me will be updating every Sunday and Wednesday along with Little Feet!

Because there's nothing more fun than being productive :D

and so on :)

am i bluuuue...

So yes, I am alive... and the bottom drawing was done first and the top done to snap myself out of the blueness... 

and yes, I have been doing stuff but only UBER TOP SECRET WONDER BR- I mean, stuff that I dont think are really relevant to the blog :)

but doan worry... i will be doing more relevant stuff JUST FOR Y'ALL :D

Games.

Ofcourse, I'm referring to the video kind. Firstly, I really shouldn't be blogging. I have all this stuff I should be doing, but guess what? I have a plan. The plan is to build up to this work, and do it from a certain time.

Anyway, videogames. Theyre terrible in the sense that I spend waaaay too much time on a GBA emulator, fangirling on Vincent Valentine, or thinking about my true love... tetris. I like the idea of RPGs and.. perhaps more specifically JRPGs, but I suck at finishing them. I would like to blame my brother for this, as he was the owner of most of our gaming platforms, therefore has say over who plays, what is played and when games are played.

But as I age, I am conquering my previous fails. That is, I've beaten KH2 with one run through - i didnt have to go back looking for anything and I owned the heck out of everything with the ultima weapon.. And I'm well on my way with FF7, seeing as I've managed to get all the characters so far on my own (i never said sans a walkthrough). and so on..

So, peace and love.. I better get back onto my slackarse uni stuff. ciao :D

the other day i was trying to be positive

Then again, it was a significant amount of time ago... but anyway... I made a list of things that I like. So I guess day by day, I will list them, describe and try my hardest to have an accompanying picture-type-thing.

Number One: Food.

In my google reader (these things are awesome - sadly, they are terribly addictive, i spend all my time looking at pictures of cats, dogs, food and comics instead of things like Facebook updates.. improvement? I think so) I've subscribed to some feeds about food, such as The Kitchn, Just Bento, and a few others.

When I lived with my dad, he did all the cooking. I barely knew how to make toast, let alone cook. But after moving in with my ma, i discovered cooking and the awesomeness of it all. I love the prep, the smells, being the first one to stick my (clean) finger in something to see if it's ok and all of the above. It's therapeutic for me, and is always a nice way to end my day... although Uni has ruined this recently. I get home sometimes around 6 and Litia (the awesome older lady who has been coming to do things like cleaning and whatnot) is often the one to make up for my tardiness on some days.

When it comes to what I like to eat, there's an.. odd, i suppose, variety of things. There's dhal, a lentil soup I've loved for ages and ages, and sashimi, sushi, salads, steaks, stir fry things, noodles.. a whole bunch of things. And, of course, theres chocolate. Sadly, I have developed some sort of super-speed eating habit, and this is mostly associated with things like chocolate. Good things never last.. /sigh :P

Alrighty then, that'e enough from me for today, stay tuned for the update tomorrow (hopefully) - "GAMES"

<---This is good for you.. because it is food.

Uni is difficult

well, it's my second week and i'm writing this in my journalism class thing. It's interesting. Im on a break. CONCISE. 8 months.

:D

so.

A blog isnt really what i want to write, is it? I mean, I worry sometimes. I dont know what exactly is and is not appropriate. I wonder why I put things out there if next to no one reads it.. but if you do, i am eternally grateful. I wonder if what i write is interesting, pointless or just plain negh (negh meaning that it isnt interesting in any way shape or form).

Why Im worrying about this, although worrying isnt the proper word i suppose, is because Im thinking about what i put on this blog and what i tell most people. The way to hide some things best is to put it in plain sight. So, when there isnt anyone physically around that i can feel like i can talk to, i write things down or put them on my blog. I do feel like its.. less than healthy, i guess, to bottle things up, so writing is one way to get some things out of my head. I know I have people to talk to, my friends, family and wholemeal.. but.. you see.. there are some things i dont want to say out loud. Most of those things are put on paper rather than on the blog.

I know, I know, another one of those odd, odd blog posts. But.. I guess its a general explanation for the oddity that is my blog. Well, more of an apology. /shrug.

Hey look! Ive been drawing

its a bearded dude with a bag lol

Hey internet. Ive been drawing instead of studying like a maniac. Pardon? Is that you all asking "why havent you been studying?" Well, sillies, I have so dont worry. Maybe not as much as I should, but when my head hurts I take a nurofen and stare at the ceiling.

can to spot the "special words"? :)

So i have hidden words in the second drawing, which is dedicated to a certain special someone. I see mr bunbuns, albies wrist cushion thing, not to mention a rubbish bin, a candle, a pencil and A YELLOW SUBMARINE FUCK YEAH. heheh :)

Oh my goodness a sugar inspired fifi comic :)

So yes, Ive been drawing fifi all over my french books because shes the cutest little thing ever. I dont regret trying to draw cats. Theyre awesome. Im not exactly a cat person, but i do like them because theyre soft and fluffy and cute all round. like babies. I dont like them per se, but i think theyre cute as anything. ... That doesnt make sense, does it? Oh well :D

I count three open mouths :O

So, Thats all I have for y'all. Its almost designated eating time, so I better throw some soup in my tummy, and then drink me a cuppa to study. Oh, did i tell yall, I managed to stop drinking coffee :) Yay me? hehe, prolly.

yay 900 :D

mGood day to y’all. I'm proud of myself and it has got something to do with the kitchen. No, its not as if I got to clean it and make it brand spanking new, all that happened was the fact that I managed to pull off roast pork and chicken. It was Saturday evening, and I managed to make it in such a way that people ate it and said it was nice. I don’t care if they didn’t really like it but I was amazed by the fact I made something edible in my oven. First of all, I cannot, for the life of me, bake properly. I can make cake out of a packet, sure, and sometimes I’d make toasties under the grill, but a roast… I'm proud of myself :)

they are brownies. and they look awesome.

So I went to church on Sunday. Why? Because I can. I went to and then I was listening to the sermon and realized something; iconography is a huge concept. The guy at the lectern was going on about something about Mary being some kind of vessel, and that she was meant not to be glorified or anything. I was just kind of “meh” about the whole thing, because I'm not that into the face of God, and that whole “which person involved in it all is more important” because I really don’t care. I was kind of in a state of “omg I just realized something”; that something being the fact that people tend to blow things out of proportion.

mmmn. french. smexy.

Anyway, I'm out of stress-bits. That is to say that I'm so damn tired of being stressed that I'm just going to calm down and pretend that I know it’ll work out. School is lame and I wish that I didn’t have to deal with that whole stuff-thing. Secondly, whole meal was all confused by dates and is now leaving a little later, but still, not late enough. Preferably never, but that’s a little silly, isn’t it just? I'm not being silly. I'm trying not to be anyway. Thank god for the internet. Okay, I’ve been writing this on the bus, so I think I should shut down and get off of it or something. Yay, I actually pulled off a blog post. I’m still sorry about the lack of Fifi. Hopefully I get my internet back up and am able to give you all Fifi sometime soon :D

K, stoves and a mouse

Good day. I am fine :) I bought contacts today so i can walk around without my retarded glasses on. Yes, they are retarded. I blame the silly tape on them and whatnot. Is very silly looking. Ok, so how was my day? Was okay.

So I had school today. I went to class, mucked about, ate some food, felt tired, and rolled around for a bit. Then i went to town, bought contacts, had a mocha, had some coke, rolled around the back of a cab and got home. Then i showered and dressed and now im here. in front of the pc. what a gripping life i do lead.

How cute is that mouse?? I want one. Just so i can look at it and squee :) I really dont have anything to report. So maybe ill muse a bit... NAH. hehe... I was wandering around town with Salmon and Jamesa and we walked all around Tappoo City (it is much lamer than MHCC, there is no food there) and looked at stuff. I realised that i love looking at stoves more than i do looking for clothes. I swear, if i could, id buy things for my kitchen rather than get new clothes. Im strange, and AWESOME. ok, i think im going to go eat soon. kthnxbai :D

Facepalms over the fail of my exam results

Well, im not happy (entirely) with my exam results. Yes, i didnt really take them seriously (i was very tired and exams are not fun) but relative to what I couldve done, Im ok with it all. I havent failed any exams yet.
Yet.

Look at this pillow. Its so darn awesome. Id totally be confused if i woke up with that on my bed. Id try to click it (but then i wouldnt be able to find my cursor and then feel very, very confused).

So today was ok, apart from me getting quite angry at a few people. SOme people are so closed minded ans stubborn in their beliefs or lack of beliefs to the point where it feels... offensive. It hurts even if the insults are directed at you. Personally, people can belieev whatever they want, and if i dont agree with it, i might mock them for a while, but i will accept them as they are and treat them on teh basis of who that are not what they believe.. Its tiring having to deal with people who act like children. I walked out on my IT class because I could not stand teh bickering.

There isnt much to say otherwise. I conclude by saying im sorry for typos, ive been sleeping and my hair is crazy and not helping really. But i ate some cucumbers and i feel better. Well, pieces of cucumber. It was tasty. I suppose :)

Hi there!

I plan on doing a Graeme Base. Im sure other artists have done this, but i want to do an alphabet series :) Today I give the internet "A: Awesome artist accepts her antibiotics". Done with markers, pen and watercolour.

So today went quite well, apart from my almost dying due to stress and nausea. Speaking of nausea, i need to make myself a cuppa and sit the heck down and study. I have an IT test tomorrow, after i do an english commentary. Whats a commentary you ask? Its gay, thats what it is. You get either a 40 line extract or a poem. there needs to be establishment of a general arguement, writers purpose, context, identify literary devices and stuff. its not good. well, im not good at it. i dont know... okay, im feeling sick. will go make tea now. bye internets!

Im going to Nadi!

So yeah, I'm going to pretend to be a tourist this weekend. Im going to catch the tourist bus to Nadi town and walk around town until I find a taxi thatll take me to Denarau. I hope i dont get ripped off. sadly, i dont have a local uniform, but i guess, i'll live.

So this week wasnt too great. first of all, the stupid goldfish is stupid. im trying to sort out this thing, because i have to see him for the rest of the school year, so i want to be able to sit next to him without him getting up and moving across the room. its annoying, and not to mention hurtful. yes, hopefully i will get to relax this weekend and not get bothered by this whole.. thing.

Did i mention that im sick of being single? its not really my fault, i mean.. me being single. I dont know that many people that i can talk to, and is it wrong to think that having the ability to talk to someone in a relationship is important? so call me picky, idk.. i just dont think i want to have someone just to have someone... ugh. i hate being a teenager. no one is smart at my age.

So.. i ashamed.. im eating starburst sweets, that i bought despite being both sick and broke. i need comfort, so sue me.

lookit! giant kwoot ewok!

Survivra?

epic stuff of epic epicness.

im trying to figure out a name for my D&D character. and yes. D&D. Im excited, akshully. I love the idea of RPing, and i love RPGS, although ive only had the console experience. Ive played MMORPGS, as i think ive mentioned WoW a couple times, but my brother and his friends i think are starting to play. Ive always just wanted to be part of this uber awesome thing. So.. im going to be boring by making a female elf ranger. ive already figured out what i have to look at to win, like wisdom, strength and dexterity, and looked through the handbook to figure out what feat i what, and what items ill be starting off with and the like, and i think i almost have a name. dude, i just did french homework where i had to conjugate the verbs vivre and survivre. so... elf names have Vs and things like that... so i think itll be okay for now. until i call her Bob or something, heh.

In general, today was long. my mam took a while to pick me up from school, after a stupid CAS thing... the stupid children at the CAS thing i do were all spaz and were painting themselves and stuff. Im high on coffee now, and im not sure whats going on. im tired, but i cant close my eyes. also, im silly because ive had two cups of coffee, and now.. well... i havent done any maths homeowrk, but ive figured out my portfolio... thingy. i dont know. im tired.

look at those evil little things.

getting paint everywhere.

reminds me of my afternoon. :(

Two at a time

I really cant be bothered waiting to upload these. why? because if i upload them now.. i can do more!! yay more. i hope i can keep this up for at least a year. mebbe it will help me get through IB. juuuust mebbe.

Numero cinq

thats 5. i was going to have the 6th before the 5th... but oh well. :) Also... have had okay day, aside from the mental facewalling. but thats just me :) so yeah... im working on it. also... pens. they are bad excuses.

The Keychain

I wanna explain a bit about the comic.. is nostalgia. and the goldfish crept in. please wait a while, im trying to filter it all out. it might take some time. So i got facebooked by shelton, an old friend of mine from kindy, who said he missed the awesome old days, and i do too. so yes.. thats about it. lol at my attempt of drawing fb and a computer. sorry again for the goldfish imposing itself. im retarded like that. :)