nearly how long?

Thats so awesome. I want that mug. just because. Ok, so i havent been blogging for a long while. Ive had uni (is getting gosh darn hectik - i got 8/aprox250 votes...) but yes. damn you ethnocentric politics! damn yewww... anyway.. its a week to my dads 4 years and someone close to me has lost someone. It makes me think... well.. it makes me feel... a little useless. How am i to help? because i want to. Ive lost my grandfather and my dad and the thing is.. they were both very different experiences. I was 12 or so when i lost my grandpa. I was in class 7, and i got pulled out of school. i remember being told by a classmate that i shouldnt be allowed to wear a black ribbon because "he was my grandfather, he wasnt close to me". the old man would let me help him with his insulin shots. i was, for a short while after, obsessed with the idea of becoming a doctor or scientist. i wanted to cure diabetes. when i lost my dad i was so.. lifeless. my dad was the guy i grew up with, looked up to. i inherited the animal love, the love of cooking, the eyebrows, forehead and fascination with storybooks. dad was always there.. until i moved out of his place and in with my mum. it was getting hard for me to stay there. (however that couldve been some odd childish thought). 11 months after leaving his place, i got the phone call. my ma was in aus, and i had just managed to figure out chicken drumsticks. i was told that my dad was in the hospital that was 15 minutes away by foot, or less. i was told to wait for the car. my dad was gone well before i had been told. the memory hasnt faded.. but ive grown a bit to know that its not something to wail about. sure, there are tears when its brought up.. but.. im sure ive mentioned the boy with the bread who has given me the strength to say hi to my dad without tears. so... as a last couple of words... life ends before we expect it to. doesnt mean that its early. its on time, its just that we dont want it to. we're mortal creatures. let's not waste time on negative thoughs, actions or in a manner of dwelling that only hurts ourselves. live life, love and sleep.

From The Random Cafe On Campus

So… long time no see, blog. I'm sorry, but I guess I can’t help it considering my uni stuff. Well that and trying to do everything else. Sure, I could be bumming around (and I kind of have for one of my compulsory classes – that being the gay computer stuff type one…) and doing next to nothing but I have stuff that I want to do, so I'm trying to do it all… and for once I'm not failing. It’s nice.

Yesterday, I had my favourite day of the week – Tuesday. It’s my favourite because of the whole lovely, wonderful fact that the only class I have that day is first thing in the morning... and it’s only a lecture, not to mention that it’s politics (that means that it’s a snooze lecture because it’s a “sit-listen-and-you-might-just-learn” type of thing). So I had some bumming around time, but more importantly, I got to go into work. I missed doing work so much last year. Sure, I didn’t have much time, but that’s what bothered me. I love writing for programs, I like broadcasting, I may not be too much a fan of TALKING (shudder) to people, but it’s often interesting.

I’ve also being trying to get elected on campus. This mainly means that I need to put up more flyers, talk to more women (shudder) and maybe sit outside where people will be voting this week so as to get the vote. Why am I doing this? When I got to uni, I was looking forward to joining something that I’d be interested in. I get here, find out that I HAVE to pay this particular amount of money, and I’m automatically put in some group according to my ethnicity. HA. Good luck figuring that one out, USP. I’ll save you the trouble – other. I don’t like the label, but I’ve been stuck with it my whole life. It grew from “my what?” to “other” to “half caste” to “Eurasian” to “Scottish-Irish (gypsy)-Indian/Indo-Fijian-Filipino” and finally to “it doesn’t matter”. Ethnicity is a major problem in Fiji. Since its all “touchy-feely-I’ll-poke-you-in-the-eye-if-you-get-it-wrong” I won’t touch it at all.

So, in between this all, I’m sure they may be at least one person (well... I’m hoping there’s one who might follow this part of my ridiculous life) is asking “how’s Wholemeal?” To answer your question he’s fine. He’s been helping me a lot these past few days. We often talk at night, when we’re about to sleep (me at 10 or 11, him at 5 or 6 in the morning... yes, I think 6 is a silly time to sleep). More recently, he’d been making sure that I actually do my ass(hehehe)ignments... I mean assignments. It’s nice to have company to tell you to sit down and write what you need to instead of buggering around, procrastinating and making many cups of tea. So, it’s nice. I usually do the same for him, so it’s only fair that we share the job.

Finally, I’ve been teaching myself shorthand. It’s fun. Sure, I’m cheating and learning a different version of the alphabet instead of learning the phonetic one that my grandmother knows, but yes. I promise a comic later tonight. Cheery bye, interne and see you ‘round!

long text post. i guess.

What do I really want to do with my life? Elections at uni are coming up and im running… again (again as in, I got disqualified, but they deferred elections so now I can re-run). I don’t understand uni. I hate going because I don’t fell… like I belong there. I spend my free time drawing, or playing around online, but today it was mostly drawing. I'm making a book, which has 7 short stories at the moment. They're all picture stories – you know, like for little kids – but for who ever, no ageism needed. It’s the only thing I enjoy. I have assignments due and stuff… but I cant get into them. This happened last week, after I got kicked out of my lecture. I couldn’t make myself care, I just couldn’t. I know I’ll start working seriously tomorrow. I have to.

In other news, dads birthday and “anniversary” is coming up. It’s not going to be a weepy thing this year, I swear to myself. I think I’ll get wholemeal to take me to the cemetery when he gets back (sure, thatll be may-ish.. but it’s something.)… that’s one of the things I love about him. He helps me with things I’d rather not say anything about, because most people would just say something that would make me cry. All he has to do is stand next to me, and I’m too happy to cry. Even when it came to exams last year – my mam would be on my case, and so would he. He did IB and he was always “did you study? Yes? Ok, good let’s skype”. Or something entirely unlike that. Im not too sure.

Ive coloured the stories. Not well, but I did. I'm too tired. Ive had a migraine all day and I just want to lie down. The migraine may be the cause of the “CBF”ness. I don’t know.. anyway, cheerybye… and goodnight internet.

Sometimes...i just feel really aimless

And its times like that that i end up writing four tiny stories in a day. well.. short picture stories. I drew them today.. wrote them.. they need to be coloured. SO . the great gatsby - comixed. hilarious. brings back year 11.. god, i was FAILING english then. so sad.

I want these. I have an apron... but pixel oven mitts? sexehh.. lol, not really. i just really hae burning myself (not on purpose, of course..).

NEVER WILL SOMEONE SUSPECT KITTYNESS. never. yeah. thats all i have to say about that.

Naw babeh hugs... so cuuuuuuute. mummy is always safely. :)

And I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT THAT IS(excuse the french). Is it a dog? a toy? why does it have a rocking mo' and i have nothing? /sad. anyway, happy week! one day i will have a real post... one daaaaaaay.

Kicked out of a lecture?

Apparently it's hardcore. So, Ive managed to mess up in my second week at uni. I do want to defend myself. Firstly, the lecturer stated no "ground rules" for her lecture, so I was not sure of basic protocol. Then again, it's uni. And yes, I have the idea that it's adult school, where you're treated like an adult; you either pay attention or dont - if you dont and fail, your fault. Why are we still being babied when half my class are probably from their 20s to their 30s? Secondly, I was giving not a single warning. One second, I was talking to my friend (whispering in fact - the girl sitting next to me didn't even hear) and the next we were told to "get out and not come back" unless the lecturer said we could come back. Lastly, we were talking about something related to the lecture topic. What was the point of paying undivided attention to a woman READING THE TEXTBOOK TO US? Blegh.

It was my mother's first chemo session today. I dont really know what I expected, or how to react. There wasnt really that much to react to. Chemo is basically being put on a drip. So yeah. There were a lot of babies at the hospital today. A lot. I also managed to, for the first time, speak to one of Wholemeal's family members without looking at the floor. Why do i stare at the floor when I usually see one? Well.. Im shy... and I'm scared that they may not like me. So yes. Major step today. I found it hard to concentrate the rest of the day. I wasnt sure how my ma was going to react physical wise. But I got home, and she was fine. A little tired though. So f**k you Hollywood, you had instilled the idea that cancer turns you helpless and sickly. I feel a lot better though, after seeing how awesome my ma has been and how so many other women have just.. grabbed the bull by the horns and have had beef for dinner (bull = cow = beef?).

So that's about it from me. Goodnight and have a great sleep, internet :)