so i made sommat.

Pinktober

Remember the reason for the season

across the universe

so i was watching it, well, am watching the end again because my mam dearest missed the end. i always feel so sad when (SPOILERS!) the little boy dies and when strawberry fields forever is playing. I get sad. Yes. So... had a long day today. (then again, the movie has been out for ages, so spoiler period is over)..

Worked at the office all morning, did errand things, came home and felt tired. then ma got back and my cursing the uni that wholemeal goes to because hes got so much on his plate. occasionally i felt terrible for not being there to support him properly.. but I try my best here and i know that our relationship is much better than some of those who have the luxury of being the same country, the same city, the same neighborhood, street or whatever.

Will have a long busy week. It sucks looking at my week planner and going "oh my god. i have to meet my friend to discuss work? Why is this happening so early?" but i cant help it. i got so angry today at all the people in suva who dont care about others, who dont care about the state of our country and those who dont want to know about the struggles of the voiceless, the oppressed, the tired. We build stereotypes in our head. we tell ourselves that "women dont have interest in media". Thats all nonsense. What women talked herself down? We shouldnt pity her, but try to raise her up. She was taught to be this way by some twisted society. We should try to make the media more accessible for her, in a format that she would understand because of the limitations forced on her by her situation. we shouldnt give up, put her in a box and forget about her. its because of this terrible box putting that our poor country is the way it is. It seems that we're too lazy to think otherwise, do the honorable thing, to do the right thing.

Who am i to talk? Just some stupid teenager, waiting for revolt, an uprising. We sit and complain about the state that we're in, but do nothing. We dont think of the solution. We ponder the problem and never try to do anything to solve it ourselves. what example are we setting?

Nakavu

i went to nakavu village, i think it was called, in nadi. it was part of the rural visits i went on, and as the three femlinkers sat with the woman whose husband had been the village chief, i think, in the village hall. other women slowly trickled in until there where about 12 or so of them sitting around in a circle. they had open discussions about who they were, their days and their issues before we started to record.

one woman, the third youngest there, spoke about having a mastectomy. my mother's ears pricked. breast cancer? this women was supporting her family of three children and i think her husband worked too. she had to go to lautoka, the next town, which is actually a city, over for her treatment. she didnt know that she even had breast cancer until after they had the tumour removed. cancer awareness i villages in fiji isnt all that present.

as this women got a bit taery while saying that she couldnt work for a couple of years because of the cancer. she looked quite well the time we saw her. i reflected later that night and tried not to call anyone or cry. this woman, whose mother was sitting in then hall with us, was telling us of her hardships. all the worries i have, samed to pale in comparison.

i felt happy for a short while for my advantages and gifts, but soon sunk into deep regret that i was one of the ones who wasnt there in the sense that i felt sorry for those who had less or who were in a worse rut than myself and just that i knew those so fortunate. but then my heart lfted there in that hall, so see the strength that women had. how she was strong enough to go through all that ans still smile without the slightest sign. it makes me feel better some days. as stupid as that sounds.

anyway. finished this post is, as master yoda would say.