Tuesday, February 21, 2012

WOO

Some Sian-y upates for yewwwse.

Firstly, I moved Comics in a Jar to wordpress. Im sorry, google. I love you, Id totally have a chromebook, and I cant look at any other kind of phone without going "it's not as cool as my baby andy". But wordpress makes it easier to read. This has been tested with teh challenged of our community (boys who couldnt navigate the previous site.)

Secondly, Im teaching myself the ukulele. Im working my way towards a banjolele (Damn you, QI). It's fun and her name is Lillian and one day I might actually figure out the B chord and figure out strumming patterns. it's only my second day so yes. Ive managed to learn tuning and G, C, D and a few other easy chords. I learnt the 20s intro for Adventure time so thats kewwwll. I think so anyway lol.

And started uni yesterday so years looking full and i guess will have too many things to worry about between making sure Andy, Gorram, Lillian and Ceecee are going good. Also known as spending time with my phone, stuffed elephant, my ukulele and my laptop doing little more than nothing.

Hope everyone else is going good :D

Sunday, February 12, 2012

the thing about internet fame

im not famous. in real life or not the internet. im not even vaguely popular on the internet. ill watch notifications file past me on facebook all about everyone talking to everyone else.

i dont mind it, i mean, i guess its a lot less pressure. i dont have a fanbase to provide for, i dont have to get hate mail (cuz when people like you, there will always be more people who dont like you im guessing - i havent been in the position to test the theory).

I also have none of the internet appeals. i dont do music, my comics arent pretty pretty, my art in general is mediocre, i dont often look at youtube, and even though i can be funny and sociable from time to time, people are a mystery to me. y'all complicated weirdos whether you wanna admit it or not. I KNOW.

okies, imma go back to working on my bra comic. to celebrate it's creation im ditching the shirt and enjoying the company of my wonderfully affordable and comfy boobage handler.

stay tuned for more from my brainpad. :D

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Of bread-dudes and kinda-dead dudes.

when wholemeal and i were first going out, i learnt a whole bunch of things that were very very odd to me.

he had his funny little quirks like that fact that he would say "one pant" and instead of motorbike would say "cycle"... he also used to be able to fit into my clothes better than i did (however it might be fair to mention most of the stuff he borrowed to bring this fact to light were my shirts and guy-cut teeshirts.)

it was weird that he couldnt roll dough out when i asked him to help me make puri and the day i found out that he didnt like pork and didnt eat beef, my perception of all meat was changed forever.

i guess all the little daily things - cooking, picking what to wear every morning, buying pants... all these things reminded me of him. his arctic monkeys CD is still sitting in the box i put it in to hide it from myself, not to mention all the other music im addicted to are all his fault.

and theres the card i found looking back at all my little girly and emo journals with him. on the inside, on the right "a very happy birthday to our darling daughter. we hope that you enjoy your next ten years as much as your last. Daddy and lorna". and then a four "x"s. daddy's blocky handwriting with all his E's in caps.

i have that in front of me at my desk so everyday i get closer to my 20th birthday, if i dont know what im doing, i try to think of something at would make daddy proud. so when i put together all the things that have happened from when i was 11 to june this year, despite his passing and all the changes and dark moods - i'll have a decade i can look back at and go "fuck yeah".

wholemeal is a big part of that decade. was? is? ah well. but im pretty sure id made up at least half of losing a dad. he was someone to hug. i'd lost that along with daddy.

ARSEBUTTS.

Note: Ive been watching a lot of adventuretime.


















Monday, February 6, 2012

People in my head. Like the nacho guy!


when i was younger i thought there were people in my head.

they had their own voices and stories and lives. it took me a few years to figure out that not everyone had these many people in their heads. you listen to one long enough, they become their own, and you let them out. thats where alex came from.

i spent a long time with this people in my head and i wandered about my garden at my dads house, in shorts, barefoot. id get muddy feet, a scratch, talk aloud when i knew no one was there. i mean, i still do, making new stories in my head, speeches, programmes i may never record. but its all there and needs to come out.

as i got older, some of them became me. coexisting, always there at the same time, sometimes switching at the drop of a single word. my funny, social self - the quiet, shy self - my angry, sweary self- the moods swings, my "gemini nature" according to my ma.

i make myself sad, happy, i entertain myself when theres no one else at home, adopt a heroic persona when im RPing a videogame (never evil or too firm).

why not? arent we different from animals because we can? our minds are our playgrounds. sure i havent invented anything, but thats where all my recipes come from thus my ginormous thighs.

after wholemeal and i split, one of me just ganged up on me all the time. especially when it was just me. im not good enough. i couldnt make him happy. im useless. im stupid. i suck. he should just find someone else.

but that wasnt it. we never really fought. we were happy. we were too far apart though. well, we are. and its, well, heartbreaking. this isnt a valentines special. and im more likely to want to burn everything frilly, red and cartoon heart shaped (because real looking hearts are super gross to look at really.) but i was always liek that. BURN THE SENTIMEN-LAME-ITY!

Because its fake. one day a year to have fancy dinner and say "i love you" with presents and roses? why roses? why thorny, ugly things? i like orchids. theyre prolly the only flower i can stand realy. cuz they look all funny.

wholemeal brought me one once. was sweet. but i did get a bit upset because he totally ditched his bros to come over and that was totes uncool. although i didnt really mind, just didnt want his friends to get pissy at me. but it was a pretty flower.

I want to be pocahontas. let john smith go. i have to be with my people. however i have to let wholemeal the amazing go so i can pass my uni stuff. well, the pining and the sad go.

anyway. watch Little Feet and Comics in a Jar for my amazing comicyness. LF updates three times a week while CiaJ updates everyday. Danke!