Cardboard Heart

So i watched paper heart just now. i laughed a lot, i texted my friend Skelletor the Magnificent during the movie as she is in love with Michael Cera who isn't very cute, and i played a bit of rapid roll during too. i have a shortish attention span, and idle hands are the devil's plaything so something like that.
it made me think about how i am in life, i hate the idea of cuteness and lovey-dovey stuff, and the such, but... love? it's so... special, right? i mean, it's supposed to be big with the flowers and the sparkles and the flutter in the stomach. but... love is also family right? it's also friends? and love is like when you have a puppy that depends on you and he looks up in your eyes and tries to tell you to give him food. because he loves you because he's your dog.
ah well. sleep? :D
new years is going to be epic. fingers crossed.

I'm (not) okay

well, i am really. i lied right there. i'm fine actually, apart from a bit of light headed-ness from lying upside down while on the phone. i had a $7 phone call RE: New Years. as i go to an international school, most people are out of suva because they can afford it. so there is just me, skelletor the magnificent, and potato left for the partying. we have planned to go to the movies new years eve. rather, to get pizza, watch a movie, spike potato's drink and watch her being silly-faced. we are making the assumption that potato can't hold liquor well. i raised the point that she should eat before spiking. i was only talking to skelletor at this point, so there. she then realised my genius and we have decided that food is good. i hope the lovely bones is going to be good. it's what we plan on seeing. if it's lame i will be sad for wasting my new years eve.
last night, due to insomnia, i decided to work on my new art book. well, i drew the borders and numbered every page. yes. all 120 of them. i was bored. i didnt know what to do really. i've been mind full really lately. there are too many things to worry and think about. school fees, uniforms, rent, bills, people, friends, work, home, and well... i'm trying to figure out some stuff for myself. so yeah. very hectic becoming an adult is. yes, i'm turning 18 in 2010. and i'm s**t-scared. yes yes. very scared. of becoming older. oh well.
i would like to confess that hypocrisy should be my religion. i thrive on it. i believe in it. i feel that it's also the thing that i will never stop laughing at. i can talk like a retard on crack (am sorry if this offends, but am uber good at playing dumb), but still stop and yell at someone who mispronounces something or has bad grammar. as mentioned previously, i go to an international school where english is not always the first language. i have to stop myself from correcting the english of those around me sometimes. it's almost painful when someone says something that makes no grammatical sense. the again, i slip from time to time yay hypocrisy!

they did it wrong.
should be "a d" silly peoples :P

so I guess I’m feeling like a hero. I stopped my cousin from crying. She’s an adorable little 4 year old, and I like her. She’s cute, has an adorable Asian bob (her hair is very straight and very thin, unlike mine… /sigh) and she was very tired. So here she is, crying, not wanting to sleep, while her aunt/godmother (my Mam) is setting up her laptop so that they can watch a movie in bed. I get the princess diaries, because this adorable cousin of my is very girly, and I spend a while trying to fix the computer so that it’ll play this DVD. I eventually give up (it’s windows vista and I’m terrified of it) and use VLC to play the movie. So she smiles a little, leans back and watched this film.

We went to the beach today, and it was beautiful. The waves, the wind, the sun. I was very proud because I was wearing my shortest skirt and a boob tube (but, alas, I am flat. /sigh) and I walked along the beach looking for pretty rocks and shells. I found a few I picked up and even found a stone with a whole right through it which was my aim for the day. I like rocks like that… they are pretty :) I don’t think I have a tan though. My stomach is still very white, as the rest of me. My Mam laughed at me and called me white. I’m not white. I’m light brown.

I’ve started to form my identity. Well, a little bit of it anyway. I’ve dyed my hair. It’s now a strange and relatively boring shade of reddish/pinkish-brown. Is cool. I like it. I plan on cutting it. I want to cut it as soon as… so I don’t chicken out or anything. Ah well..

nighty night. :D

very good movie.

effective for little girl control.

Well christmas is over.

merry christmas!

well, at least for this year. was interesting really. i got a few other things (a candle and diary) yesterday. i had thought that i had gotten them all, because we weren't all out this year really. we didn't have a tree tree. we got some twigs on our way back from the west, but it wasn't the same.
i recently re-read my blog. i noticed that i have many typos in my posts. and quite a few i'm ashamed of. some are really emo. and... that's no good for my image. ah well. i'm too lazy to fix it.
i also have written my new years resolution list. i'm probably not going to post it though. i'm shy.
i wrote a really long list. some are about family, some about relationships, some about friendships, and some about work and school. i will reveal however that one i really hope to achieve is the one i think i wrote last night.
i'm going to try figure out who i am. not just where i want to go, what i what to do in uni, or what kind of guy i like or anything. that deeper me. i plan first to cut my hair really short. i'm keeping the bob though. i plan on shortening the fringe and cutting the sides to about up to my cheekbones. that kind of length. and tonight i plan on dying my hair. i wanted to go purple, but my mam suggested burgundy. i don't know what that is. ah well.
i'm also addicted to erica moen's comics. i've shamefully read a lot of them, and.. well, i've read all of Dar. i love her style. it's... well, simple. and some of her earlier stuff is nice :) ah well.
i saw my 5 year old cousin read out a chapter of scripture from the bible yesterday. he stood on a stool thing with his mother who pointed to the words for him. i was proud to know him, to be related to this little boy. our family have always been early readers. my brother started reading at about the age of 2, me at 3, and this boy around 4. i like that there are still readers. in local schools, if you pick up a book in your spare time, you're a nerd or the equivalent in slang fijian or hindi. i don't know the slang, sadly. i was brought up in a home where all we spoke was english, all the friends i had spoke english, and i was terrified of the chinese kids in my class who spoke fijian better than i did. ah well. i like english. it's my forte. :)

so i leave y'all for the now. but i leave with a few words. one, i hope that any typos will be forgiven (along with incomplete sentences. i do that a lot in essays). two, i hope you don't think less of me for the fact i only know english (i cannot lay claim to french. i cant speak it. i can read it, write it, but not speak. i'm paranoid that i might mispronounce something). three, i hope you laugh at the picture at the bottom. :)

i only wish that i had reflexes like he did.

Yes, i cried

i love dethklok. it is almost sad :D

i was watching across the universe and i cried when the little boy died. and i loved that movie. i sung along to some of the songs.
although my brother was a bit weird. he was all, "this isnt going to be your new rent is it?" (Rent referring to the musical where "everyone has AIDS"). i love rent. i've watched the dvd at least 6 times, one with commentary, because i do that.
im the kind of person who watches things until they die. i know almost all the words in season one of friends, specifically episodes 9-12. that's because i've seen them at least 5 times each. yes. i am sad. and i kind of did the same this to the metalocalypse episodes. i love that show.
So im just posting some random pictures.. one of an album cover, i think, is very metal :P and another of a dancing monkey. cuz dancing monkies are brutal.

doesn't it look like he's doing the tango?
Antonio Banderas cat come nowhere :D

yeah... im still blogging from work

but can you blame me? the internet t home is being incredibly retarded and refuses to work when im the one in front of the keyboard. and speaking of keyboards, im angry at the one im using now. im used to using my netbook to type any- and everything. and is it my fault that the proper one at the office went missing and died in a corner before being found again? no way, man. so dont blame me. i never asked for the tourture of using the lame one.
this keyboard is the essense of evil. im not joking. the backspace has been put next to the home button. and when i want to delete things, i end up going to the beginning of the line and it messes everything up :(
ahwell... okay. i have headache and am very hungry. is 1pm and ive had about 1 sammich. :(

At work..

So a lot of things have happened lately, with the cyclone and being in the west and a short period of time where i was panicking over vet bills in my head as my dog was limping for a day, two days ago. thankfully max is better now. i've also been having a lot of nightmares lately. i get really bad nightmares. my mother blames it on the amount of time i spend on facebook but i'm sure that facebook isnt the case. the one that started it all had this little frog thing that was in my bathroom.

It was about 4 inches tall and had huge eyes and its mouth was wide open in a kind of O shape. i heard it screaming so i yelled at it to shut up and ran out of the bathroom and closed the door. i heard it walking towards the door and it stopped right next to it. it's feet stuck out from under the small gap we all have with doors and the such and for some reason i was terrified of it and i stabbed at it feet with a knife i happened to have in my hand. it oozed blood and before i knew it the creepy little frog thing was stabbing back, i lost some toes and blood was everywhere and i was screaming and i woke up.

i couldnt go back to sleep so i read some pride and prejudice and listened to some jamie cullen. i love pride and prejudice. it's an awesome book. i adore mr darcy for some reason. ive seen the tv series with colin firth and i try my hardest not to squeal every time mr drcy says something while reading the book. i also discovered jamie cullen when listening to him being interviewed by the BBC and i immeadiately downloaded (yes. i am internet slut. i love utorrent) two of his albums. i found out that i love jazz music. i loves it. is smooth and good for chilling and it helped me go to sleep. i like sleep.

Speaking (metaphorically...) about sleep, and how much i like it, i made a list of things that i like and dont like last night. while crocheting (yes. it is shameful. im trying to make a big blanket/throw thing for my bed) i realised that i liked several things and that i should write it down. this list may or may not be posted... it may if i find that i have readers. no point putting things out into a void if it means next to nothing. /shrug.

so might paint the creepy frog thing. and then might post it. /sigh. im sleepy :(

Back from the West

so i went to the western division. i was also stuck in a cyclone. there was uber strong winds and lots of rain for a very long time. rivers flooded, roofs were blown off peoples houses and trees were knocked over. it was strange because we drove even further west after the cyclone had passed and there were blue skies and scary blue the sky was. clear and clean blue. beautiful. but as we passed homes that had been damaged and uprooted trees i was sad again.

long week

That is what i've had. I had the interview, i've been trying to stay up until 2 to talk to a friend, and i've written a horrible story that is supposed to be attached to the work E-news bulletin. Tomorrow i plan on recording my pilot of my podcast show thing. i will be takign the young feminists view of several things. this week will be religious fundamentalism and the YWCA visit. and probably something else. personal space methinks. i had a run in with a large woman. my friends used it against me. it wasnt funny at the time. right now its hilarious.
so i think i might give up with the staying up until 2. or check my email at 2. or something. i dont know. i dont even know why i considered staying up for this person anyway. its a silly idea. or maybe it isnt. maybe its me being considerate. or a dumbass. probably a dumbass. ah well.
and ive been going through nearly every season 2 episode of the nerdy show. im a loser, i know. ah well. i guess the real problem is my buggering around and wasting electricity. with the staying up until 2 and being online on my notebook all the time.i think i'll put a picture of a slot machine. it looks kinda cute. :D

play to win! otherwise you wont win. so play. so you can win.
yes. im tired :)

From notes from a function

I went to a ywca thing tonight. so i made notes during some things.

• During the singing of "Silent Night" by a choir, i realised that it wasnt the version i was used to singing. this version was powerful and too loud and very very slow. Maybe someone should trying rapping "silent night". Maybe someone has.
• I also noticed that politicians are horrible at speaking here. they suck at impromptu and make lame political speeches too. or maybe its just how i feel.
• I liked the choir. they sounded cool. A little too loud though. but that was a speaker problem imo.
• during the prayer, the woman praying said that what happened in our country was God's discipline. i wasnt going to pay any attention to the prayer. then it started off with all the trimmings. so i thought "oooh. conservative religious fundamentalist! let's see what crazy has to say". i really didnt like it. i was angry by the end of the prayer.
• i was questioned about my job. it made me confused. i was also terrified because the lesbian woman was standing a little close. it scared me. she also tried to kill my dreams of uni. apparently i might not adjust well to australia. im not useless.

So i add a picture of Gary Larson's God. i have the same image of god in my head. i blame him. i grew up with his comics. Him and Charles Shultz.

I lol at these a lot.

Blog from the work!

I can't get over the awesomeness that is Nyaradzayi Gumbonzvanda. She hugs people a lot. I think that's what she said. "I like to hug people". Or mebbe i was hearing things. Anyway she's very articulate and very very awesome. I interviewed her. And Juli Dugdale. I was kinda of like the Oprah of community radio. I hope the interview gets online. Then i could link it and i will be famous and awesome and mebbe end up with a billion dates. Or maybe just be happy that I know what I'm doing. Or something liek that. I dont know really. I have to fix the whole interview now. Copy paste, put questions into the right places. Noise reduction. Then burn it to a CD and be like "oh my goodness, i'm so awesome". Or mebbe just go and have lunch with my old friend who's beck in town. Isa the old days. I miss them. The YWCA logo is below. and why the face of the monkey (or orangutan i think it is)? Because I can.

The World Y Definately needs a cooler logo
The triangle scares me

Im working off the notebook again

is terribadly uncomfortable as am lying on bed on stomach.

i am also forced to use lastfm because my notebook is lame with no space.

/shrug

Saturday!

He is Mraz. I liek his sounds

So, im tired. it's very warm here at the moment. It isnt even that nice warm weather. its that sticky humid kind of weather that makes me want to sit in the freezer. sadly this is not an option as i have a very little fridge and an even smaller freezer.
I was planning on playing with my dog this afternoon. after this bonding session i also plan to give the dog a bath. i dont want to go outside because that means that i will have to play with the dog. then i will have to give him a bath. i hate giving him baths because he cries when he gets wet.
last week i gave him a bath. i was sick of holding him down near teh tap outside so i decided to get him clean in the sink in the laundry. i put him in the sick and he whined and tried to jump out. The thing i will never understand about dogs and baths is why they complain and whine up until the shampooing starts. if they know that the good part of the bath is going to happen eventually why do they still make the sad little noises? whats up with that? it drives me crazy personally.
so my friend went to china today apparently. well, friend in a loose sense. i prefer to use the word proper, and i havent figured out what this person is. he was being a little... blah earlier in the week. sure he said some stuff and i broke down a little (im a teeny bit of a drama queen really), but later on i acted like a complete douche and i feel bad now because i dont think i said sorry for the stuff i did. /shrug
So to feel better i will turn on some jason mraz and then go outside to bond with the dog. i guess it'll do senor attention-sseker good. uhm. senor attention-seeker refering to the dog. his name in Max. or maximus prime. or maximillion. or the maxinator. or dog. or silly thingy. uhm. i'll go outside now. but just a bit of explaining. above is jason mraz. obviously. i think thats a cd cover. i saw this at a friends house once. i laughed. people dont buy cds anymore. below is richard. he is a warlock from a comic i like very much. i want the richard plushie and USB drive because i am sadly obsessed. he is the reason that i rolled a warlock in WoW. sadly, i am a useless person who never plays the warlocks i roll. but isnt he kwoot?? look at that evil little warlock! okay. now i'll go outside

he is adorable. look at his cute evilness

Awesome Day!

So i had a good day. it was the first day of the holidays and the sleeping in was good. after the sleeps i got a test and it was time for a movie with the girls, so that was fun.
we watched armoured but it was a bit of a boy movie. luckily there were predictable bits and parts where one could make fun of everything. so all that was a plus. then we walked around a bit, got El some credit and waited for Sooi and teh Jah Drue to go to the bathroom and all which was lame. then we got some pizza and tried to plan something fun as El is leaving tomorrow and Pia is also going, but forever.
we ended up playing poker in the park. this was the kind of poker however where one puts the card on ones forehead and hopes one had better cards. you can see everyone else's cards though. that helps sometimes. except whenever some got an ace, they folded. i was one of these people so i was bit sad.
then when everyone else went home, El and i got an icecream at maccers where we talked until her parents came. so i got a cab home and here i am. :)
also, my internet is being lame. so am a bit sad. because... nothing loads. so yes. lamecakes. So i drew a pretty (not literally cuz i kinda suck at drawing and the like...) picture about what i did this afternoon because i had a spare half hour. You see the plan was to meet at 2, so at 2, i get a text saying "meet at 2.30", which was lame because i just got into a cab. spent 15 in a line at the ATM feeling uncomfy because of a very large woman who stood very very close to me. she.. scared me. but then i bought a new idea book, pen and then had a cappuccino so i felt better afterwards.